Tug Dumbly # 29 - Wombiverse

Wombiverse

Let Womb Solutions customize

your return to womb experience

and climb into our womb-as-Tardis

to become a Foetus in Wonderland.

Try a cosy pre-nate package,

or hop aboard a Wombiverse mystery

tour through a Kubla Khan Cave

dimensionless for a world of surprise!*

That’s right!

Forget that musty old womb

where mother knew best.

You’re in totes control here sista

and no one’s gunna pimp ya ride,

as you row row in-utero your boat

gently down the stream; or dig the kick

inside and dive right into some potholing,

canyoning or red river rafting.     

                               Yow-EEEEEEEEEE!  

Welcome to Wombiverse!

where everybody knows your name

but you’re still free to discard

past baggage in our exclusive 
luxury-package 5-Star Last Resort 
of the criminal, dead celebrity and 
general absconder from life alike.

Hook up with other swingin’ embryos

in the Placentalink Bar - party and

press the flesh like it’s year zero;

relax in a Fallopian hammock,

do lazee laps of the amniotic pool,

bounce back with umbilical bungee,

spring on the membrane trampoline

from here to maternity, Wombiverse

has the Womb Solution for you, baby!

And hey, for a chill session, dial it back

with some gestational regression,

slip blissfully into unformed anonymity

as a sweet little jelly bean suspended

on slow spin in a warm safe space.

Or relax with a massage in our

Altered States sensory deprivation

floatation tank, as you scroll through

a gallery of portraits and profiles

of Potential Future Hosts .. that’s right,

we’ll help tailor and customise your

New Wonder Family** – No more

messy random happenstance in the

dirty laundry lottery of birth 

as we slot you into the berth of your dreams.

(Don’t forget to ask about our wide range

of rebirthing suits, with Siamese Twin share

on demand.)

Yes, whatever your case – past life hang-up,

regret or disgrace – a Wombiverse 
rebirth is satisfaction guaranteed! 

We've got something for everybody baby,
and for every baby body!
You can check out anytime you like,

but you’ll NEVER want to leave!

So seize this wombortunity and act now!

Wombiverse – why get born with anyone else?

* termination insurance not included.

** Fantasy Family Package may be fantasy.