Tug Dumbly # 34 - Fish

Fish

People say a thing’s easy

as shooting fish in barrel.

But I’ve tried, and it’s hard.

I set up a range of barrels

with different breeds of fish

in the backyard 

The slug gun and musket

did bugger all.

Ditto the slingshot and crossbow.

The Glock and Magnum 44,

up close and personal,

gave a better haul.

I could stand back a bit with the AK-47,

and I gotta admit the Uzi was fun,

though not as much as the Gatling gun.

The sawn-off twelve-gauge

double-barrelled shottie was a hottie

though I only started getting solid results

with the mortar, bazooka

and rocket-propelled grenade launcher

while the Howitzer 

really took those fish to task.

The hundred-percent clincher?

The tank - an old Panzer …  

(though there was some

collateral damage to the bins.)

I was just getting into the swing of things,

firing up the flamethrower, when my

neighbour Jim leaned over the fence and said

‘mate, strictly speaking, this is outside the

parameters of your experiment,

both ballistically and linguistically. 

Flamethrower’s a whole new kettle of fish’.

I reluctantly agreed. But seeing

I was a bit glum, Jim said ‘mate,

this arvie you can help us fire up the barbie’.

I said ‘but what’ll I bring? I haven’t got a dish’.

Jim eyed the backyard and said

‘mate, I think you’ve got some fish’.