Clark Gormley #52 Phone Whisperer

don't understand the function
of half the apps on your smartphone?
perplexed by myriad options
that mean nothing to you?
glaze over when you hear the words
haptics or screen time
or personal data?
unexcited by Touch ID
and personal hotspots?
feeling lost and afraid
in labyrinthine menus and
sub-menus and sub-sub-menus?
concerned you're not reaching
your full potential
because you're locked in the privy
when there's a whole palace
out there to explore?
feeling as if you look
wan and fragile in the reflected light
of your touch-screen?

we've got news for you.
it's not you.
it's the phone.

our phone whisperer can coax
your smart phone to play ball
rather than smartarse.
after only two sessions
with our expert you'll find
your phone a lot more intuitive
willing to comply with your requests
to supply the directions that will
actually get you to where
you want to go.
will listen to you when you speak.
a Siri that takes you seriously.
after therapy from our phone whisperer
your device will not be
nearly so devious.