Reader begs for this to continue...
yes, it is rather unfinished — will see what I can do!
The cerise is really interesting -foreboding
Glad you feel that, Sarah. That's partly why I stopped at that point, letting the reader continue the thought (but also because I wanted to go to bed!). It could suggest a fire, blood, or just the reflection of a car tail light, etc.
I really like the Goethe like lyricism, rhythm/images, Robbie
Thanks Efi. Maybe I should summon Mephistopheles to help me finish it!
Have added the following stanza, but not sure about it:freedom is fluidhome is a cellwaking in heavenburning in hell.
The Devil here. I like the idea, Robbie, and I think I get it - only that the lines in the preceding stanzas are so specific and descriptive that the generalities of the Big Words freedom/home/heaven/hell could be a bit of a let-down. I.e. freedom as an idea of what sort of fluidity? Home is where you what? Cell/hell may be a given, OK, but I think home/hell calls upon the author to explain. Me, I think I'd go back outdoors and look around for some smaller co-relative of the larger notions. I've said too much. I haven't said enough. But I will shut up now. Cheers, Rob
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.