Kristen de Kline #148 Shuttlefuck

thanks Samuel Johnson there's a word
for it   first it was the spinning wheel

of doom on the I-Mac   then the TV
on the blink   no it isn't the bloody batteries

in the remote   the blender croaks
two cans of Roma tomatoes fresh basil

and oregano stick to the metal plates
whir weirdly like a car out of gear

the job skills agency texts me
saying, I've got to make it in by 9 a.m.

to talk about jobs they don't have
the cat continues a marathon meow

scratches the carpet in three places
does a retaliatory piss in the linen closet

I bang the Roam tag on the windscreen
in the wrong place, horizontally not

vertically, so now they're over-charging me
like I drive a heavy duty truck

my trip to Coburg to see the shrink
gets re-routed down city lanes

express ways, "traffic is very heavy
forty minutes is added to your route"

the closest Subway doesn't make coffee
the 7/11 guy hasn't heard of a flat white

he offers up an instant something
in a non bio-degradable plastic cup

I throw the legal documents at my shrink
saying: here you go
tell them I'm a lunatic
throw them a daisy chain

it's a complete shuttlefuck