Thursday, December 6, 2018

Tug Dumbly # 65 - Just the Facts, Ma'am


Just the Facts, Ma’am

‘ … anyway, I heard Joni Mitchell’s a bitch.
Dylan’s an arsehole too. And a stingy prick.
Mandella as well. That tight you couldn’t slide
a credit card between his arse cheeks.
Martin Luther King? Pisshead, pantsman.
Set to permanent screw cycle.
Squeezed in a peach after every speech.
‘Course Kennedy would root the hair
off a barber shop floor.
Flawed? - Mother Teressa, “sister of the poor?”
Don’t make me barf! Ego like a zeppelin.
Insisted on a first class jet.
And the tanty she’d chuck if it wasn’t just so!
John Lennon? Wifebeater. Junkie. Drunk.
Oh no, always pinned or plastered.
Gandhi? Randy bandy-legged little bastard.
The Dali Lahma? All that giggling?
More hashram than ashram.
Stephen Hawking? The man was a monster.
And don’t get me going on Frieda Khalo.
You know, one time she pulled this scam
on a sponsor … Oh, you have to go? …
Anyway, the thing that gets me is
how did they find time for anything else?

3 comments:

  1. Salvador Dali bottled his farts
    ... guess that makes him pretty harmless

    ReplyDelete
  2. you mean 'bet' he's never?
    Didn't Jonathan Richmond, or someone,
    have a song called Pablo Picasso was an Arsehole?

    ReplyDelete

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