Thursday, October 20, 2016

Cui Yuwei 19#--1987

1987

was the second year after dad had gone, I was 4
one night mum locked me in at home
before she went on night shift at the hospital
I woke up at midnight alone, crying out of fear
I shook the door open, no light anywhere
from the neighbours’ houses
I hummed to myself, staggering to the public toilet
behind our house, a dead silence there
not sure where to go, I stopped at a streetlamp
waited until mum finally showed up
she screamed out my name and dragged me roughly home
she laid me down on the bed and spanked me
wailing that I was the source of all her worries
I choked with sobs, feeling so good
to be held in her arms




87

是父亲走的第二年,我4
一天晚上母亲去医院上夜班前
把我锁在家里
夜半我独自醒来
怕得直哭
我使劲摇开门,邻居们的家
没有一丝光线
我小声地给自己打气
一路摸到屋后的公共厕所
那里一片死寂
我不知该往哪走
就停在街灯下一直等
直到母亲出现
她失声唤我的名字,一路把我拽回家
将我放在床上,打我屁股
她哭着说我是她唯一的牵挂
再有下次她就抱着我一起跳河
我抽泣着,被她紧紧搂住

如此幸福

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