Robert Verdon, #331, poetry
poetry
is dreaming
the
thin arm in the russet sleeve
that
once reached up from labour
for a wild rose
rediscovered
in the radiance of a train’s
rain-dance
through a forgotten valley
or
your child-self on a red swing
by
an upended wheelbarrow one yet-to-come spring …
how
should I love and I so young
poetry
is power
the
sheer flag flying half-mast
for
the unsung
the
dreaming prayer
for
here and everywhere
the
passing-bell or tocsin
the
bell that forms
when
rung
Excellent. Clear as a bell. The imagery is striking. The ending is very fine.
ReplyDelete(I reckon the ellipsis at the end of "spring" is unnecessary, since you have flagged all that with your "yet-to-come" and followed it with the next line italicised, all of which indicates to the reasonable reader that they are at the top of the swing...and here be a ruminative pause. :))
I agree with you about the ellipsis, and I'm pleased the poem came across well anyway!
DeleteI love this and Rob S I think I might approach that same line different slight wording with one spring yet to come... that simplifies it. But it does remove that sweet slump.
ReplyDeleteYes, Kerri. I agree about that line "[...] one spring yet to come" - the half-rhyme (and the rest!) would fuse nicely with the word "young" at the end of the next line. No diminution of the power there, I think.
DeleteWell, that's something I hadn't thought of — but then I only wrote it this morning!
Deletethis is lovely - don't read my poem please :) (it's an unhinged toilet door I fixed today)
ReplyDelete'Omphale: of poetry ii' is one I can relate to!
DeleteHa. Kerri and Efi, I love your poetry. This fine poem of Robbie's...let's hear from the maker.
ReplyDeleteI sense our anthology may need to have a definitions and manifestos section (or perhaps separate sections?)
ReplyDeletesounds good, Kit!
DeleteRings and sings!
ReplyDelete