Kit Kelen #996 - my greatest disappointment

996

my greatest disappointment

(notes towards a new il penseroso)

my greatest disappointment

– this world

the people I meet

hearts nearest mine the most

how so insensible to what there is?

and blow it out to cosmos

all unbreathable

emptiness everywhere

stars burn till out

so what

not meaning is the general scheme

except of course it's not

existence –

like this unread proof

who will dare to call?

and sometimes only weather

birds in a useless flit

to bone

to dust

and so to stone

so much unkindness, vaccuity

everything is nothing

simple cliché

for not even an end

complexity is just as cursed

for instance – see we're here

and from and to

and faster

none can doubt

the autombile – a killing machine

burning oil and coal kills millions

the more of us is most depressing

hatred, war, spite, envy, greed

ages of unreason

no patch now untouched

even love – the seas run dry

count on us

we're gone

clocks?

who was the genius?

passage of years, seasons, months

and me, a speck in time

the body?

one big ache

and something to sneeze from

each sensation

a disappointment

sniff at a flower, wilt

music I can't play

and who can understand it?

the same with words

come along so far

discussing it solves nothing

close your eyes – still there

dreams are just a rearrangement

someone coughs and snores next door

then wake to all that is again

my god!

no, never mine

no

no, not at all

gods were the first fake news

the monkey in me knows it all

sees the nutshell, under over

and I myself to top this list

could have stayed up in the leaves

but no

I have to know

I'm every day falling

further

and further

these words are not good enough