Tug Dumbly # 48 - Your Cat Would Kill You if it Could

Your Cat Would Kill You if it Could

Your cat would kill you if it could

would have your guts for garters,

if sweet kitty kitty weren't so itty bitty

she'd crunch ya like a cicada.

As she curls in your lap and brushes your leg

and purring pursues your voice

she's much the same as a girl on the game,

to eat she's got no choice.

But that playful paw that pads your hand,

that claws that ball or blanket

would open your head like a cat-food can

for a brainy buffet banquet.

In her backyard savanna she's got the manner

of all of the feline clan,

she's born with the nature, just lacks the stature

to pounce and crash-tackle a man.

She's a miniature killer that moggy Attila

dreaming dreams on your pillow so fresh

of every sparrow being her master

and every mouse her doting mistress

and the sweet taste of human flesh.