Saturday, December 10, 2016

9.12.16 (#343) the lull inside a raindrop as it leaves the cloud Myron Lysenko

 5th draft: 10.12.16

that postcard I can’t mail to my dead mother
the darkness of a pencil poised in mid-air
a bloom of smoke going back down the chimney
like a hush from a stop sign at the crossroads

the screaming smudge of a pencil  in mid-air
just a conversation of fences in a paddock
like a hush from a stop sign at the crossroads
this crack of moonlight on my window

just a conversation of fences in a paddock
the calm of a torch shining where the noise was
the scream of moonlight at my window
a careful pile of pebbles in the cemetery

the noise of torchlight shining at a memory
a moan of firewood alert under the pine
a careful pile of pebbles  in the cemetery
the lull inside a raindrop as it leaves its cloud

the moan of firewood caught under the pine
a bloom of smoke climbing out of my chimney
the lull inside a raindrop as it leaves its cloud
that postcard I can’t mail to my dead mother


7 comments:

  1. Great poem, Myron. Shades of a villanelle. Dylan Thomas would approve.

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    1. Thank you, Nat. It's a pantoum.

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    2. Right! The form was familiar but I couldn't pick it. I've never written a pantoum myself. Maybe I should give it a burl.

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  2. I definitely feel the Villanelle - and each line is so rich and full that it seems to gather power with each repetition. This is very moving to me, Myron, for particular reasons, as well as aesthetically.

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    1. Hi Magdalena. Thank you for your wonderful response to this pantoum. I appreciate it very much.

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  3. I love this, very rich and full!

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  4. incredibly moving, and it builds forcefully. Very powerful affect.

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