376
between us
Travaillons sans raisonner, dit Martin, c'est le seul moyen de rendre la vie supportable.
- Candide
all this distance
could be weather
could be time
so much to see
so much to do
between us
everything is true
such farewells
and such fond greetings
all that we may know
who's who
between us
a dabble
a dribble of paint
like spittle link
or stray pube joining
that's how biblical we are
mainly between us
it's music
notes run
at their rhythm each
into chord crossings
cadences no one
could ever have guessed
between us
a history of callings
in the pillow gap
some dream set free
to range like love said
between us
all the garden tends
how did we come to words?
Love it!
ReplyDeleteI'd take out -
ReplyDeleteat their rhythm each
into chord crossings
cadences no one
could ever have guessed
And the last line - and take 'all' out of 'gardens' ...
Try it - and read it aloud. You could jingle is more by repeating those lines, but I like it like it is. No jingles!!
Fine poem.
DeleteMind you, Andrew's comment is constructive, his advice sound, complimentary.
And i like knowing that you're reading Candide. How thoroughly would Voltaire mince Trump.
I've taught Candide a few times and those lines always stuck with me
ReplyDeleteso this is what you mean, Andrew --
ReplyDeletebetween us
Travaillons sans raisonner, dit Martin, c'est le seul moyen de rendre la vie
supportable.
- Candide
all this distance
could be weather
could be time
so much to see
so much to do
between us
everything is true
such farewells
and such fond greetings
all that we may know
who's who
between us
a dabble
a dribble of paint
like spittle link
or stray pube joining
that's how biblical we are
mainly between us
it's music
notes run
between us
a history of callings
in the pillow gap
some dream set free
to range like love said
between us
the garden tends
how did we come to words?
pondering
ReplyDelete