Saturday, May 28, 2016

Michele Morgan #141 So let me get this straight

There's this happy family man
Agamemnon, with his lovely wife,
Clytemnestra, and the three kids
Iphigenia, Electra and the boy

Only Agamemnon's brother's wife,
who turns out to be Clytemnestra's sister
Helen, runs off with some blow-in from Asia Minor
with a reputation for bad judgement and
an association with plaster.

And Agamemnon goes after Helen with his brother,
Menelaus, across the sea heading for Troy
but they get holed up on some
middle of nowhere island, waiting for a good wind.
And Agamemnon, who just happens
to have Iphigenia with him
chasing after Auntie Helen in a
fleet of battle ships with
ten years' worth of sea biscuit and arrowheads
Agamemnon sacrifices Iphigenia?
for a head wind?

Let me get this straight.
And there's a goddess in there somewhere
So Agamemnon and Menelaus get Helen back and
burn down Troy and
kill all the men who aren't already dead and
sell all the women and children into slavery
except the boy children of all the really famous dead men -
they make sure they go the way of their famous dead dads -
and Cassandra, who's the daughter of one famous dead man and
the sister of another famous dead man and
the auntie of another one
and who has a strange gift for prophecy,
absolutely correct in every detail but
no one ever believes her
Whom Agamemnon decides is a lovely girl,
too good to waste on the open market and
a dab hand in the kitchen
all that experience with entrails
and he can't resist one more souvenir
to remind him of his time abroad
Greetings from Ilium.

Let me get this straight.
So Clytemnestra, who's taken up with a boy with a
completely forgettable name and
no chin whatsoever,
welcomes Agamemnon back from the war.  He's
killed her eldest daughter, stayed away
ten years doing a favour for his brother
never a postcard, no maintenance,
he's got a shipful of women in chains
including Cassandra who's frothing at the mouth with prophecy
and her frock falling off her she's in such a state but
none of the men listening, getting a good eyeful.

Let me get this straight.
Clytemnestra says hello darling
home from the war are we
fancy a bath?
And Agamemnon says "Hello love
I'll just have a bit of a wash
and eat whatever you've got on the spit
and who's this boy with no chin?”

So Clytemnestra kills Agamemnon in the bath and
knocks off Cassandra just for good measure
it's a shame about the frock.

Just let me get this straight.
Electra, who's always been the awkward one,
the middle child often is,
talks baby Orestes into killing his
mum and the boy with no chin
I've remembered his name
Because Clytemnestra's been a bad wife and
shouldn't have taken a lover or killed Agamemnon
I wouldn't have thought Electra was that close to her father really
but you never can tell.
And Orestes does and Electra goes mad and
runs amok through the garden and
comes to a bad end and
Then the Furies come into the picture
where have they been all this time
not a sizzle or hiss out of them before but
there you go; they're on the case now,
tearing after Orestes, he
never gets a moment's peace after this and
all because he's killed his mother.

And let me get this straight:
Agamemnon and Orestes are the heroes.


  1. Yes, hard to believe Agamemnon and Orestes are heroes.

  2. Yes, hard to believe Agamemnon and Orestes are heroes.

  3. Sorry for double comment, first time around it didn't show.

  4. doubly hard to believe then. I agree


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.