Thursday, March 31, 2016

Efi Hatzimanolis #57 How To Refresh a Flokati (for Kit Kelen)

That flokati now weighs more
than a merino ram
that’s been on the run for ten years or more,
dags and all, I’m betting.
You could always felt it. 
Just chuck it into a hot machine wash, 
followed by an even hotter spin
- and have a pot of tea ready -
for the flokati shrinker method is good 
to the size of a generous tea cosy.
Thank me later.

You could beat the crap out of it
with a sturdy broom. It’ll take all day.
Beat until your shoulders freeze in protest,
your elbows swell and the broom head falls off.
That’s when you'll know it's time for a bubble bath. 
No, not for you.
Now is not the time to be playful.
Strip down to your shorts and make like a peasant
stamping grapes in a barre class. Flokati’s ooze
at this point, the water shall turn wine dark, miraculously,
and the bubbles shall sink like boulders. Stamp! 
Stamp until your thighs burn, and your glutes scream, 
and your footprints have disappeared.
Then drained, gird your loins and start again. 
It’s the rinse cycle.

One refreshed flokati,
and you’re rooted.


  1. I notice that (according to Wikipedia), 'Making flokatis is a long-time tradition of the Vlachs in the Pindus mountains.' I can just picture it, nothing much else to do up there I dare say!

  2. my shoulders ache just from reading it

  3. hehehe. Ta, everyone. (Robbie, I think there may be a Vlach godparent somewhere on my mother's side of the family :))


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