Hi Kerri. You asked for some pointers for writing haiku. What works really well is if you come up with two separate images. The juxtaposition between the images is where the poetry is, whether it be a contrast of images or a comparison. There are three lines in most haiku but you need to think in pairs: two images and two grammatical units. You have two grammatical units in this one; the first line stands alone while lines two and three join up to form to form a phrase or sentence. I don't know if these comments make sense to you. Do they? Using the thrust of your haiku as an example:
cloud cover— a leaf in the dog’s mouth unbroken
The jux here is one of comparison: the unbroken clouds and the unbroken leaf.
I have a fountain pen sticking out of my forehead folks.....
ReplyDeleteSo marvelous, Kerri!
ReplyDeleteThat does Komichi and Shibuku proud! My favourite!
ReplyDeleteHi Kerri. You asked for some pointers for writing haiku. What works really well is if you come up with two separate images. The juxtaposition between the images is where the poetry is, whether it be a contrast of images or a comparison. There are three lines in most haiku but you need to think in pairs: two images and two grammatical units.
ReplyDeleteYou have two grammatical units in this one; the first line stands alone while lines two and three join up to form to form a phrase or sentence.
I don't know if these comments make sense to you. Do they?
Using the thrust of your haiku as an example:
cloud cover—
a leaf in the dog’s mouth
unbroken
The jux here is one of comparison: the unbroken clouds and the unbroken leaf.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete