Lesley Boland #16 This just in ...

This morning the news broke over my breakfast:

Adults dangerous to children;

Educated humans unable to read map;

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory more interesting than politics;

Brick wall crumbles;

Paedophile allowed to stay;

Woman jailed for online dating;

Charities not so charitable;

Babies are human!;

Mental illness not imaginary;

Preacher advocates rape;

Warmest day/month/season/year/decade/century on record;

Humans part of the food chain;

Airline passenger too sexy;

Terrorism is quotidian;

Big dick found on landscape;

Words have meaning;

Old-timers still useful;

Reproductive anxiety still around;

Child weeps for coral reef;

Our poor luckier than overseas poor;

Woman’s breast implants rupture;

China unnervingly powerful;

Gay rights debate reaches Reductio ad Hitlerum;

Sports team wins a cup;

Content locked - subscriber-only article;

Woman’s body inspires;

Flawed human hates self;

Fancy restaurant changes menu;

Man kills family, pleads not guilty;

Economic growth unchecked;

Russia also unnerving;

Locals resent tourists;

Woman operates heavy machinery; 

True story.