Saturday, January 14, 2017

Kit Kelen #376 - between us


376
between us

Travaillons sans raisonner, dit Martin, c'est le seul moyen de rendre la vie
supportable. 
                                                        - Candide 
 
 

all this distance
could be weather
could be time

so much to see
so much to do

between us
everything is true

such farewells
and such fond greetings
all that we may know
who's who

between us
a dabble
a dribble of paint
like spittle link
or stray pube joining

that's how biblical we are

mainly between us
it's music
notes run
at their rhythm each
into chord crossings
cadences no one
could ever have guessed

between us
a history of callings

in the pillow gap
some dream set free
to range like love said

between us
all the garden tends

how did we come to words?

6 comments:

  1. I'd take out -
    at their rhythm each
    into chord crossings
    cadences no one
    could ever have guessed

    And the last line - and take 'all' out of 'gardens' ...

    Try it - and read it aloud. You could jingle is more by repeating those lines, but I like it like it is. No jingles!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fine poem.
      Mind you, Andrew's comment is constructive, his advice sound, complimentary.
      And i like knowing that you're reading Candide. How thoroughly would Voltaire mince Trump.

      Delete
  2. I've taught Candide a few times and those lines always stuck with me

    ReplyDelete
  3. so this is what you mean, Andrew --


    between us

    Travaillons sans raisonner, dit Martin, c'est le seul moyen de rendre la vie
    supportable.

    - Candide






    all this distance
    could be weather
    could be time

    so much to see
    so much to do

    between us
    everything is true

    such farewells
    and such fond greetings
    all that we may know
    who's who

    between us
    a dabble
    a dribble of paint
    like spittle link
    or stray pube joining

    that's how biblical we are

    mainly between us
    it's music
    notes run

    between us
    a history of callings

    in the pillow gap
    some dream set free
    to range like love said

    between us
    the garden tends

    how did we come to words?

    ReplyDelete

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