Janette Hoppe #40 Secrets (1)

racism was my grandfather's
best kept secret -
his brown skinned grandchildren
I'm sure a secret he wished
remained untold
and unseen

I remember the time
he asked my mum
to pretend she was a maid
to stay at the back of house
when the guests arrived
mum was fine to stay out of sight
but drew the line
at serving his visitors
and playing servant
to pompous pale skinned fools

my mother didn't suffer fools easily
she had an admirable arrogance
a strong woman
with a thick back bone

I grew up drinking
my grandfather's intolerance
for dark skinned people
the snide remarks of
"my mother's kind"
and those
"good for nothing Abo's"

I felt like a dirty little secret
sharing the weight with my brothers
but my brothers didn't feel the same way
I was my grandfather's favourite grand child
and his only grand daughter
something I would learn over the years
made this more meaningful
           a question
in the back of every young girls mind
about dirty old men

racism was my grandfather's
dirty little secret -
oh the calamity
when his only son
married a dark skinned woman
the kind with an admirable arrogance
and a thick back bone

I am only half the woman
my mother is

an admirable woman
with a tender back bone.