Thanks Penelope. I had a struggle last night as earlier versions could be construed as one of the children falling in and drowning, especially matched with images of lakes, it kept seeming ominous. I didn't want that to be so dark and upsetting, though it was possibly better. It was inspired by an innocent incident I sometimes reflect on walking with three children by Lake Ginninderra, and the mood was off, children we were with were bickering,then my son fell in the lake most of the way (this was winter) (it was shallow) everyone laughed including him and it really changed the mood drastically. Everyone suddenly got on better. It was a neat little human moment. Somehow the darkness remains, but it is more diffuse. It really had me worried.
I love it's simplicity - I read it as you intended, Sarah :) I'm intrigued by your earlier version, and I know what you mean. I jettison a lot of stuff for similar reasons.
The ambiguity as to who is laughing gives this a real bite in the tail, Sarah.
ReplyDeleteThanks Penelope. I had a struggle last night as earlier versions could be construed as one of the children falling in and drowning, especially matched with images of lakes, it kept seeming ominous. I didn't want that to be so dark and upsetting, though it was possibly better. It was inspired by an innocent incident I sometimes reflect on walking with three children by Lake Ginninderra, and the mood was off, children we were with were bickering,then my son fell in the lake most of the way (this was winter) (it was shallow) everyone laughed including him and it really changed the mood drastically. Everyone suddenly got on better. It was a neat little human moment. Somehow the darkness remains, but it is more diffuse. It really had me worried.
ReplyDeleteI love it's simplicity - I read it as you intended, Sarah :) I'm intrigued by your earlier version, and I know what you mean. I jettison a lot of stuff for similar reasons.
ReplyDelete