Ouyang Yu's 'Bored'

Bored

Written in Chinese by Ouyang Yu

Translated by Google Translate

Life is so bored, bored to be added. He did not dare to stop working, he has to keep running, like a machine, a stop will be surrounded by the great silence that had never occurred before. Bored like air infiltration into people's internal organs. Boredom is a symbol of the 1980s. Youthful exuberant youth long to spend in front of the TV live recording, crazy, hysterical shouting, clapping, pound the table squalling. They like the youth pulled out as stool. They think doing the noblest act, thought it was patriotic, think this is love socialism, where they know the history long forgotten empty cry, Untouchables put the facts in front of us, and behind the advanced Western China. Win will never cheerleaders, but without a word, tenacious athlete. Let these guys nothing hell! But you yourself? He thought of himself. What you are, with this curse others? Yourself is not insignificant small, there is no grand aspirations and lofty ambitions. Do you have any faith? What is your thought? What do you seek? What do you aspire to? He considered these issues, it is people with dementia to stay, and thought he was in deep thought jump on a piece of more meaningful things, but he was very clear in his mind half numb semi-conscious state, as if surrounded on all sides the dark walls, all the way to heaven, he was like a caged a hedge, a wall in the middle of a small place hopping, hopelessly surrounded the crash, never find a way out, a little deep thought that will shine into the night sky like a flashlight, the light is darkness swallowed. This is a quagmire, stuck in this morass of people will never be able to escape, only deeper, can not extricate themselves, and finally face extinction. He knew he was most unfortunate, because he thought the old sense. He thought about the meaning of life and use all the margins, such as the way to the cafeteria to buy lunch, before going to bed, toilet, rest ten minutes between classes, is the result of thinking about life is meaningless. All the newspapers to promote its concept is meaningless. Life is a desperate fighting against brain. The win will triumphantly, happy mood, the enjoyment of human variety of fun; the failure of which put their soaked in tears, or as waves hit the rocks, filled again and again and again and again to return to the sea, human tears aggregation.

[Note: this text, originally written in Chinese in the early 1980s, never published, never intended to, not even self-translated, was translated by Google Translate on 18/08/2016; one now has only machines to communicate with, living human beings, including the poet himself, no longer existent.]

《无聊》

……

生活是这样无聊，无聊得无以复加。他不敢停止工作，他要不停地运转，像一架机器，一停下来，就会被那亘古未有的巨大沉寂所包围。无聊像空气渗透到人们的内脏。无聊是二十世纪八十年代的象征。青春旺盛的青年长长地消磨在电视机实况录音前，疯狂地，歇斯底里地喊叫、鼓掌、拍桌子、骂街。他们把青春像粪便一样地拉掉。他们以为在做最高尚的举动，以为这是爱国，以为这就是爱社会主义，他们哪里知道历史早已忘记了空洞的叫喊，铁面无私地把事实呈现在我们眼前，先进的西方和落后的中国。胜利的人永远不是拉拉队，而是一言不发的顽强的运动员。让这些无所事事的家伙见鬼去吧！但是你自己呢？他想到自己。你是什么东西，配这样骂别人？你自己还不是猥琐渺小，毫无远大志向和宏伟抱负。你有什么信仰？你有什么思想？你追求什么？你向往什么？他一考虑这些问题，人就显得痴呆呆的了，旁的人以为他在深思某件多有意义的事，但他自己却十分清楚，他的脑子处在半意识半麻木状态，四面仿佛围着黑洞洞的高墙，一直通到天上，他像一头关在笼中的困兽，在墙中间狭小的地方跳来蹦去，无望地向四面冲撞，永远也找不到一条出路，思想稍微深一点，便像照进夜空的电筒，光线被黑暗吞噬了。这是一个泥淖，陷进这个泥淖的人将永远无法解脱，只会越陷越深，不可自拔，最后遭遇灭顶之灾。他知道他是最不幸的人，因为他老在思索意义。他思索人生的意义，利用所有的空隙时间，如去食堂买饭的路上、睡前、上厕所、课间十分钟休息，思索的结果是人生毫无意义。报纸上宣传的所有观念也是毫无意义的。人生就是一场殊死博斗。赢了的便得意洋洋，心境愉快，享受人间各种乐趣；失败了的便将自己浸泡在泪水当中，或者像撞击岩石的浪涛，一次次地涌起又一次次地退回到海里，人类泪水的汇聚。

……

（2016年8月18日星期四8.49pm, at home in Kingsbury，摘自《大稿》原稿589-590页）